As I walked down to the creek behind my house one sunny fourth of July last year, I was looking in awe at the fallen trees, and the shrubs that some people refer to as flowers, and smelling the water in the creek (that I know comes from the sewers), when a bird shit on my head. I thought “oh well” just another ordinary day. As I ran along, I came across a buddy of mine that I will call Stinky and please don't ask why I call him that, I think it should not be a mystery to you. As we walked, I told him about the unfortunate incident with the bird, and he replied “take me to the tree that you were standing under, its good luck”. If I had thought for one minute that it was good luck I would have rolled in it, (as you may have figured Stinky really doesn’t have much of a social life, but then again, neither do I).
Our biggest problem is chatting with the opposite sex. Stinky can usually mumble a couple of sentences, then he has to leave the scene. I’m a little more confident since I work with quite a few women anyway. I can usually start a conversation with them before I start to shiver and have any confidence suddenly elude me, then I have to politely excuse myself.
Stinky feels that women's standards are too high when it comes to dating, however, I beg to differ. I really don't believe for a minute the women suggesting that he have a shower before picking her up is considered “high slandered”. Stinky might be the least washed fellow I know, but he is one of the nicest (nicest not brightest). However, he does sometimes on occasion come up with pretty amazing idea's that make more sense then not, but I'm not sure about this one. “We will join a Dating Site” he yelled out. I said before sometimes he comes up with good idea's but this wasn't one of those times. He proceeded to tell me that a friend at work gave him the idea(some friend). “Is this the same friend that leaves deodorant and body wash on your desk?” I asked. “It sure is! He's a very thoughtful person,” (is he for real). Stinky said “My friend met a wonderful women on a dating site,” (what women?? the guy he's talking about is gay!) “Why would your gay friend use a dating site to meet women?” I asked, “I think your getting in over your head”. In the end, and after weeks of hiding from Stinky and his crazy idea, I finally decided to give in just to make him happy.
As I tried to sleep that night, all I could think about was the last date I had, which, to me, had been a dismal failure. I’m sure the woman I'll call (“never full”), hadn’t eaten in a week prior to our date and she must have thought was independently wealthy or something! After she had gobbled up several appetizers as well as several other side dishes, expensive wine and the entree of lamb chops, I checked the balance on my Visa card, then to my surprise she suggested we order desert! “Desert!?” I quickly reminded her that this was not an all you can eat dinner, she then jumped up called me things I dare not repeat and made her way to the door. I ran after her and asked if she would like to go out with me again, at which time she slugged me with her hand bag (I guess that meant no!). So I went back to the table and sat alone looking at the bill she had run up and wondered if I would be able to get lots of overtime at work next week to pay for it.
I started to have a lot of doubts about joining a dating site, but since my best friend was counting on it (and knowing he would do anything for me), I decided to go through with it. It turned out to be the best thing we had ever done. Stinky and I both joined a Dating Site, and it wasn’t long before we had responses from some sexy ladies. We were both very scared and excited to think that we might no longer have to prop up blowup dolls on our couches so the neighbors would see the silhouette and think we actually had lives. Stinky asked me “what should I do to get ready?”I said “just get in the shower, turn that water on, use that bar of soap (you can't take it with you) and scrape your troubles down the drain”, (as well as the dirt and body odor of course).We double dated that evening to lean on each other, and we had a wonderful time. It was a standard dinner and dancing date, but it just went so well. Stinky yanked me aside and that he was going to end up marrying his date because she was so perfect for him. I gave him a bear hug, and said “follow your heart,” and he did. She seemed to take to him as well, surprisingly!
Well I don't call him Stinky anymore, (no one does now that he has learned basic hygiene). He is and always will be, my best friend. Devon is still with his special woman that he met on that dating site. This was eight years ago and after dating for several months, they got married. They had one child and are expecting another any time now. As for myself, it took a little longer, but I finally found my soul mate, and we are expecting our first child soon. Life is great and it keeps getting better!
Its true what they say, there's someone for everyone. All you have to do is look in the right place and you'll find them. Sometimes like a mother bird teaching her young to fly, you just need a little push to get going . Life is too short and precious to spend it by yourself, wondering what your life would be like if you had done something to find that special person. So if you want to be happy then take my advice, and get off your derriere and go for it.
Hey, if Stinky and I can do it, so can you! There are so many dating sites out there it is easy to get lost, or waste you time on insignificant ones, but I'll give you a tip, this is the site that me and Stinky used to find the best sites for us and in our opinion its the best place to find dating sites. So if you are tired of being alone and want someone to share your life and love with well just follow this link, you'll be glad you did.