Monday, 1 August 2011

Gay Dating

 A lot of people seem to think that all gay men are shallow when seeking someone for a permanent relationship with. But is that really true? Sure most of us prefer someone who is healthy as well as physically fit; pretty much everyone wants that, right? In fact sometimes it is hard for people that do not fit that criteria to find a partner. It can be even harder for gay men because they make up a smaller part of the general population. Some gay men are shallow and there's not a lot you can do to change that. My belief is that if they do not like me then they can kiss my not so flabby tush.

As you get older you find that most guys are not as interested in how you look as opposed to your intelligence and brains. But until that day comes you might just have to take what you can get, or try going to the gym once in awhile. Appearance is definitely a big factor, but it is not the only thing in the game of love between young gay men. Most guys do not want to date someone that is fat. Personally for me I have to be very attracted to the person before I even consider about approaching another man, let alone start a relationship with them.  If that makes me shallow, so be it, but I know what I want. 

 Why are a lot of young gay men interested in slim trim athletic types? Guys in general are sexual creatures and want to have sex with good looking guys. This is also true for a lot of young men who are not really interested in a relationship. But with varying 'attractive' criteria in different cultures, it is still possible for chubby men to get action. It really does not matter the reasons why people choose the way they do. There will always be people who behave in this manner when it comes to picking a mate its just who they are.

I know many people in my life that I would not consider dating, but I still like them as friends. I have some good hearted friends that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, and I met the majority of them via online dating sites. That's right, as a matter of fact most of the guys I have dated in the past few years I have met through internet dating sites. You might think that I am callous because I can see what they look like before I put the moves on them, but it is more than that. Many of them are people that I happened to meet in chat rooms on dating sites and I became interested in them because of what they had to say. I have not dated many of them, but I do consider many of them to be among my circle of friends now. With my busy life style, I do not get a lot of opportunities to just troll bars looking for a lay, so my escape hatch is gay dating sites where I can hang out for a short time talking to people that I have come to know and respect.

I think I am at that cusp in my life where I am transitioning from casual pickups to a long term commitment. I am not quite ready to make the commitment jump yet, but I am thinking that a few longer term relationships might help me get past the fear that I have of being exclusive with just one person. Thats where the online dating comes in, you see when you join an online dating site both you and he know where each other stands so there's no surprises. If you hook up and it turns out that you're not really interested in a particular person but you sense their being a little pushy just move on to the next person, no harm done. The anonymity of a dating site really works to your advantage if you break up with someone that you have been seeing. There is no worry about them bothering you unless you were stupid and gave them your personal contact information already.  The best thing though is that most of the men on dating sites are just like you, and are unlikely to push themselves on someone where the affection is not being returned.

For the most part most men do not care so much what you look like, or how you style your hair or whether or not you work out or not. They just want to find someone compatible. They want someone with the same interests, personality traits. Someone who is  compassionate, caring and giving. A person who stimulates them both intellectually, emotionally and sexually. Someone who will be there in the morning.

So if your looking for love in all the wrong places then join an online dating site to expand your horizons. There are many, many really solid sites out there that are totally committed to helping you find someone special in your life. They have members from all walks of life and countries all looking for someone to share their interest and lives with. So what are you waiting for? Get off your tush, get online and check them out. You won't be disappointed. If nothing else you're sure to make some good friends. The link below is to a site that I found helpful when I was first starting out in the internet dating arena.