Friday, 3 February 2012

Bad Boys Make Out Better Than Good Boys

So the University of British Columbia (that is in the great white north), did a study of just over 1000 people divided evenly between men and women of all ages, and found some rather surprising results. (American Psychological Association Journal "Emotion")

The study had the people view pictures of the opposite sex where the pictures showed people displaying demeanor's of shame, happiness, pride or a more neutral expression. The participants were asked to rate their attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 9.

All women tended to prefer proud, successful looking men, and younger women also rated shameful and brooding men very highly. Lowest ranked by all women were men who were obviously happy.

Likely women are attracted to successful looking guys because of the security that they represent. It would seem that women are looking for a good provider. Bad Boys, on the other hand, with their brooding expressions likely attract females because they think that they can fix them and make them wholesome and happy (hmm -- at which point they would likely have to dump them because women are not that attracted to happy guys – then the guy would be unhappy and brooding again, so some other woman can take a turn at bat).

Bringing this back to our cave man days, a man that was a good provider was a good hunter and had a lot of skins around to keep him warm, thus showing his success. A bad ass dude would be able to take the riches from a good hunter, and thus could also provide. Ideally a good hunter who could kick the ass of any bad dude who tried to rob him would be doubly desirable.

Men dig fun happy women and find proud ladies a turn off. After all, what man in his right mind would want to come home to an uppity know it all.

Women with a shameful expression were also somewhat attractive to men. The shame thing might just be a hint that you have a bit of bad girl in you so they are curious to see just how bad you are.

Taken back to cave man terms, a man spends all his days hunting. He has to keep quiet. He is miserable most of the time and he is full of fly bites. Many days he returns empty handed and is worried about finding more food before they starve. When he gets back to the cave, the last thing he wants to hear about is that there are only berries for supper, what a mess the kids made in the cave and the headache that she has from all their screaming and yelling. And he never wants to hear that it is a good thing she is such a good berry picker because Blurg's lazy wife did not get any berries so he will have no supper.

So what can we derive from this study:

1) For Guys, you want to come across as confident and successful (the pro sports player, or successful entrepreneur).  If you cannot pull that off, and you are after a younger woman, then try for a brooding James Dean / early Marlon Brando sort of look.  In fact, if you can pull off the successful yet brooding and thoughtful man look, you will have females licking at your feet. For both of these looks, to hold onto them past the initial attraction, you do not kowtow to women. In fact, you will likely get your best traction by refusing to dote on them. Treating them like one of the guys is a better approach than treating them like princesses.
2) For Women, you want to be seen as happy go lucky, never complain, and never put your man down.

For other relationship advice see: