Chinese Dating

If two Chinese people are dating, they are well aware of Chinese cultural norms. However, when one of those people is not Chinese, conflicts are inevitable and need to be discussed upfront before they become an issue.

Here are a few good tips on dating and Chinese culture:

Chinese women come across as shy and reserved when dating. As such, it is culturally expected for the man to make the first move and exhibit a certain amount of dominance in the relationship. Men are expected to be in a lead role when it comes to relationships. This applies to both initial contact, and every step along the way.

When talking to a Chinese woman on a dating site, always be polite and show respect.

Also remember that, in China, health and salary are not considered to be private issues and are expected to be discussed openly and freely.

Most women in China marry at an early age and Chinese men find it a little strange for women to be in their thirty's and still single. Older single women are more likely to jump at a dating opportunity because they are normally shunned by Chinese men to some extent. Divorced women are usually shunned in Chinese society. Widowed women fare a bit better, but not by much. In any event, if you pay attention to widowed or divorced Chinese women on an online dating site, you will likely be very successful.

In China education is very important and Chinese men and women are usually more interested in the education level and degrees one might possess than most cultures are.

In the Chinese culture, women are taught to see security in financial stability. They will tend to marry success rather than looks.

Well educated Chinese people can often speak English to some degree. They are likely a lot better at reading and writing it than speaking it, especially if they are still living in China. When you do not use a language orally you cannot develop a good ear for distinguishing the words, nor do you get a chance to be fluent orally. Be ready to accept the fact that there will be more of a spoken language barrier than a written one.

It is also very common for people in China not to have a religion, as many years ago it was believed to be superstitious and many of the churches and temples were actually destroyed and religion was banned by Mao.

China is pretty much a male dominated society, so the man is expected to pay for everything on a date, this includes dinner, movies, theatre, snacks and, if needed, taxis.

Always try to be upfront and honest with your intentions as many Chinese people date with the soul purpose of finding a potential spouse, so to avoid any misconception it is wise to make your true intentions known right from the start.

Many Chinese people will avoid drinking alcohol, so it would be wise not to suggest stopping for a drink on your first date, instead it would be a better idea to suggest lunch or maybe a coffee or tea.

Do not have any expectations of mainland Chinese people showing up for a date on time. It is not in the culture..

Chinese people will show that they like you by offering to help you. You will find that they will feel obligated to help with dishes or even help with small bits of maintenance around the house. It is how they show affection.

You should also be aware that asking about one's health and taking care of someone when they are sick or feeling a little under the weather are two ways of showing how much you care about that person in China. Looking after what you eat, wear, and your health is not an attempt to run or control your life, this is the Chinese way of sharing their feelings in an indirect but very classy way.

Chinese are non-demonstrative in their love. They may be bonkers over you, but they would never be so crude as to actually say that out loud. Understatement of affection is the name of the game. They show affection more by actions than words.

Being more aware of Chinese versus Western cultural norms should help you when interacting with Chinese people in general, but especially so in a dating or relationship situation.

This article is geared to helping you make it past first base when dating a Chinese man or woman. Attentive and educated Chinese men and women would love to meet you so just follow the link below.

Asian Dating

How To Unravel A Date

I was having a lot of trouble getting a date. I mean, even my family tried to set me up with some girls they knew but nothing really came out of it, not even a second date. “Hey” I'm not a bad looking guy and I have a decent job so whats the problem? It appears that I had one bad night and now I'm branded for life in my normal circle of acquaintances.


Here is the sad, and embarrassing story of what happened to me that fateful night.


It all started when I was asked to go to a formal dance with some friends of mine. Since it was formal, I was expected to come in dress pants and a jacket. I had suitable pants fortunately. The jacket was something else again and I had to buy one. I did not have a lot of money, but I was optimistic I would find something. Not being a fashion maven I generally just rely on the opinions and suggestions of the store clerks. I told him that I needed to get a jacket that would go well with the black pants that I had at home. He said I was in luck because they were having a sale on some jackets that they had recently imported from Mexico. The only thing was he forgot to tell me they were yellow and made out of what felt like burlap. They also seemed to be a little big on me but since I didn't have a lot to spend and the price was right I bought one anyway.


I pulled out all the stops that night! Showered, shaved, new aftershave, then I put on my dress pants and new jacket. My dad passed as I finished, winked and said “Nice Duds.” As I looked in the mirror that night after getting ready for my big date, I truly thought that I looked like a million bucks. And I had pulled out all the stops as well. Shower, shave, new haircut, new aftershave, and the new jacket to top it all off. Unfortunately I did not notice that there was a small thread hanging at the back of the jacket.


I arrived at the dance and went inside to meet my buddies who were already there. The place was jam packed. I think every teenager in town was there. My buddies had set this date up with me and she was a bit late. That did not bother me too much because it gave me a chance to hang with my friends and relax a bit. She was pretty cute, and seemed to be in a big hurry to get on the dance floor and strut her stuff. I remember holding her close as she had her arms around my neck. After the first dance, she told me that I had a loose thread on the back of my jacket and said that she would break it off for me.


As she pulled the thread it began to  unravel. She pulled a little more and it began to fall to the floor. They were playing “All Shook Up” by Elvis Presley. It was a new rendition of it and I hardly recognized it as the tune that my dad used to play occasionally. The thread dangling on the floor eventually caught on someone. As it unraveled more quickly, other people were caught in it as well, and the effect snowballed very quickly. Eventually someone tripped, who knocked down someone else, who fell on a table and upset everything. By the time the smoke cleared, three couples were on the floor along with six upset tables. What a disaster! My so called buddies all fled the scene and left me to face the music alone.


The owner of the dance club came up to me and said, “What the hell are you trying to do, sabotage my business?” As I stood there alone wishing I could just crawl under the table and hide, people began to snicker and curse me. The owner quick marched me out of his establishment, and threw the wad of yellow string at me as I exited. There as almost nothing left of the jacket. I threw the wad of string and what was left of the jacket into the nearest dumpster on my way home. I was totally humiliated!


So there you have it, that was my last date with a girl, that my friends hooked me up with. I was in a dating slump. It got to the point I couldn't seem to buy a date. My normal night was sitting at home and licking my wounds. The only plus to this was I was becoming a killer gamer on my computer.


My sister eventually suggested that I try an online dating site. She said I would probably find someone who hasn't heard of my jacket fiasco. A dating site seemed like a good idea, so I decided to give it a try. I picked one at random, but had no luck. So I googled dating, and was overwhelmed at the number of sites. Which one would be the best for me. I tried the top site POF.com – stands for plenty of fish, but I did not have much luck on it.  My sister came to my rescue again and suggested the link that I will share below. It has a big list of quality dating sites to choose from. I signed up to a couple of sites, and finally met someone who can take me for who I am, and not the idiot who bought a cheap jacket once.


So if you find yourself in a dating bind like I was, then check out the link below. I am sure it will work for you the same way that it worked for me.


Top Dating Sites