When you’re out there on the dating scene and you manage to find someone with whom you hit it off, the first few dates are crucial. At issue are the sometime conflicting needs of being yourself, thus setting a realistic expectation that you can live up to, while at the same time trying to sell yourself as an already successful person, which may not be 100% true. Adding to your problem is the fact that many of the most popular initial dating venues have some hidden pitfalls that can kill a budding relationship before it has a chance to get off the ground! To help you all out, I’ve outlined a few potential problems that can arise during some common dates. In this way, you can avoid behaviour that will kill whatever it is that you hope to happen.
Mini-Putt
At first, this might seem like a safe date idea. What could go wrong? You’ve got an easy evening of walking through a few mini putt holes, right? Wrong! Even this cosy environment can have its dangers.
Whatever you do, do not compete with her, even jokingly!! Ensure that you up the fun quotient a lot! If you get trapped into a competition, you will lose, even if you win at getting the ball in the hole, you will never get a chance at the nineteenth hole as it were. And keep your jokes about long stiff putters, tiny holes and big balls to yourself!
Playing with Frisbees
Throwing Frisbees with your new love when on a picnic can be a lot of fun. There are some things you have to remember though. If your paramour is not that adept at catching Frisbees, you can embarrass her. Make sure that you lob in some easy ones to start to assess her skill level. If she can handle it then you can increase the intensity a bit. Just make sure that you never toss it so hard that you run the risk of breaking a nose if she misses it. That will definitely put a damper on the rest of the day's entertainment!
On another note, stay away from windy locations like the beach so you do not lose control of it. Before you know it, your disc will have flown out to sea, or hit some quick-tempered jerk’s radio. Then you have a fight on your hands. It is a much better choice to pick a secluded clearing in a park or in some wilderness area for such activity. On top of that, even though there are hot beach bunnies for you to look at, the beach is also full of eye candy for your honey to admire. Who needs distractions like that. Better to pick a venue where both of you can focus on each other.
Going To See A Film
Movies are popular dates for a reason. If you choose the right movie and the right snacks, you get your date in the romantic mood. One real advantage of a movie theatre is the expectation that you remain quiet. This is a great because you can hold hands without having to hold up your end of the conversation. Paying some attention to the movie will give you a natural springboard for the rest of the evening's conversation. Make sure you dodge the following traps.
First thing that you don’t want to take you by surprise is how expensive movies have become. Make sure you have at least a lot of dollars in your pocket, because you will likely have spent most of that between admission and snacks. Plan to spend at least forty to fifty bucks. More if it’s IMAX.
Second, the choice of movie is all important. Make sure you reserve your tickets online or by phone. Also, make sure that it does not have some hot leading man doffing his clothes (or at least baring his chest). You will be unlikely to score well that evening if she is still fixating on the washboard abs and rippling muscles of some Hollywood hunk.
Third, make sure the movie is one that will turn her on, romantically. Light comic movies are second best. Even a movie like meatballs has a romantic ending. So even the right comedy movie can end on a decent tone. Avoid depressing film noir type of shows. Way too depressing and that will lead to a no-nooky evening!
A Night Of Music
First and foremost, make sure that the music is something that she likes. Going to see Michael Buble might be something you hate, but if she is into his music, then grin and bear it. Choose what she likes. One of your most important roles on a date is to keep her safe. If you go to a venue where there are likely be be a lot of obnoxious drunks, try to keep a low profile. Better yet, avoid such places!
On another note, if you have been to a loud performance, both of you will be slightly deaf afterwards. So make sure what you think she said is, in fact, what she said. You don’t want to assume she said “I want sex” if she said “separate checks”.
Also remember that if you have been to an outside concert on a hot night, you will be sweaty and stinky – make sure you have some deodorant secreted away within easy reach!
Midway Rides
It would seem like bringing a woman to the amusement park would have all sorts of benefits. The best rides of course are the ones where she grabs you, either in fear, or just to keep from falling. It is a great venue for fun rides, challenging games, and eating sweet treats and street meat. Accidentally winning a stuffed toy has a side benefit giving her a reminder of your time together that day. Never brag you to your girl that you will win her a stuffed toy. Carnival operators have the games rigged significantly in their favour, so it is much cheaper to buy her one at WalMart. It is a lot of fun to try, but no promises. Besides going broke, too much time spent on one activity that only you are doing is no fun and liable to put a damper on the rest of your evening.
Be wary of the food as well. The food may taste good at the time, but eat sparingly. Who knows how sanitary the facilities are that produced it. As well, the possibility of someone vomiting as they get off a ride is a mental picture that will fizzle any kissing possibilities.
One last thing. Many rides take pictures of you at the scariest point. Figure out where that is before you get on the ride and try to look nonchalant at that point. After all, you may want to by the picture later.
A Night of Video Games At An Arcade
Even if your date is not into gaming, the both of you can still have fun with it. But as with many women these days, do not be surprised if she cleans your clock. So that means you cannot brag before hand about how great you are. Besides, losing is okay. It gives you the perfect excuse to take her back there some other day for a re-match.
Starbucks
Often considered to be the safest first date, this is not without it's own pitfalls. If the date is going well, there is a good chance that you will linger over several cups of Joe. As the caffeine builds, you will get the jitters, become a motor mouth, and in general start to turn her off! Have a cup of warm water with lemon in between cups of coffee. It’ll dilute the caffeine, and make you look chic.
As Forest Gump would say, "That is about all I have to say about that". If there is a date I missed, the trick is just to think ahead. Go through the whole date in your mind, and anticipate what could go wrong. Have solutions ready to go if the worst does happen. You’ll look like you’re a together sort of fellow, and that can only help your chances at getting her to actually say “I want sex”, and not “separate checks”.
For other relationship advice, you should take a look here as well:
What Men Should Know About Relationships
Almost as many erotic relationships end as are started. I mean, it might be nice to have lots of friends with benefits so that you are never without a handy sex partner, but for some reason our society still has not reached this level of maturity.
Back to the point of this diatribe; if you are going to be good at getting into many relationships, you have to be just as good at getting out of them. For some reason, people getting into relationships just never figure the odds that you have to get out of most of them. Since the average person now-a-days has about 8 or 9 intimate relationships before settling down, that means that if you have 9 relationships before forming a permanent bond with someone, it means that you had to have ended 8 of them. Putting it mathematically, if R = the number of relationships that you start, then R-1 is the number of relationships that you had to end. OUCH!
Good Break Up Tips
1. Do It Privately
The best situation when breaking up with someone is to do it at his or her place. A lot of people say go somewhere public so they won’t make a scene. But sometimes the scene is inevitable, and you don’t want to be in public when that happens. Do it at their place, and then if they want to break something, it’s their stuff. They can kick you out, and you can leave peacefully. They don’t feel embarrassed if you’re out in public. It’s their safe place, so it’s best.
2. Do It Just Before A Weekend
This is a consideration for them so that they can get it back together before having to go to work. Often people will miss work the next day. If they get fired, then you have the added guilt of them losing their job as a result of you breaking up with them. You want to avoid that. In any event, it gives them a chance to call up other close friends and thoroughly trash you, drink themselves into oblivion, cry themselves out, and get over the ensuing hangover without missing a day of work.
3. Give Space and Time
The best way to effectively have a smooth break-up is limit the time you’re together with your ex immediately after the dumping. If you start seeing someone new, don’t take them to your ex’s regular haunt. Don’t rub your new partner in their face! And, if you need to talk to friends about the reason you broke up, choose friends that are not common friends. Otherwise, you’re asking for a soap opera, and I mean that in a bad way. Even though I watch soap operas. They’re hot. And they have bikinis.
Things Not To Do When Breaking Up
1. Pick your breakup turf carefully so as to minimize sharp objects and hard objects. Both of these types of things can be used on you in a fit of anger or despair. So, kitchens, craft rooms and work-rooms are out. For the same reasons, do not end it in a hardware store or kitchen specialty shop if you have to end it in public for some reason.
2. Do not put yourself into a situation where after you break up, you are forced to be near your ex for a period of time. So, do not do it while on a trip or a vacation. Do not do it while touring the Statue of Liberty. In other words, when picking the turf to break up on, you need a clean and private exit strategy for both of you.
3. Have a couple of answers up your sleeve for the inevitable "why" question. Just get them out and do not let yourself get trapped into a debate. Stick to your guns. If you do not, then you will inevitably get put into a position to give it another try. Keep it clean and final!
And remember – there are plenty of fish in the sea!
Good luck!
For more advice articles, check out the following links:
Relationships Advice for Men
Relationships Advice for Women
If you have broken up recently and are looking for love, then check the following:
Top 10 Dating Sites
Let’s face it: sometimes things go south in a relationship. I’m not sure why they call something bad “going south”. I love going south. It’s warm. Lots of bikinis.
But back to the point – sometimes you have to break up with a partner. It’s never fun, but there are things you can do to make it less awful. My advice: do it as soon as possible – that way you can get over it, and move on to trying to find the right person.
Good Break Up Tips
1. Do Not Do It In A Public Place
Many times, a breakup will be emotional. Sometimes throwing things emotional. Sometimes crying emotional. In any event, being in a very public place, like a restaurant, airs these emotions in front of too many people. Restaurants are also difficult to leave quickly because at least one of you has to stick around long enough to pay the bill.
2. Do It Just Before A Weekend
This is a consideration for them so that they can get it back together before having to go to work. Often people will miss work the next day. If they get fired, then you have the added guilt of them losing their job as a result of you breaking up with them. You want to avoid that. In any event, it gives them a chance to call up other close friends and thoroughly trash you, drink themselves into oblivion, cry themselves out, and get over the ensuing hangover without missing a day of work.
3. Give Space and Time
The best way to effectively have a smooth break-up is limit the time you’re together with your ex immediately after the dumping. If you start seeing someone new, don’t take them to your ex’s regular haunt. Don’t rub your new partner in their face! And, if you need to talk to friends about the reason you broke up, choose friends that are not common friends. Otherwise, you’re asking for a soap opera, and I mean that in a bad way. Even though I watch soap operas. They’re hot. And they have bikinis.
Things Not To Do When Breaking Up
1. Don’t break up in the knife department at Sears. There are too many temptations for them to give you a little going-away present (like a circumcision, or an impromptu hair cut). If you have to do it out in public, do it at the marshmallow factory. There are very few sharp edges there.
2. Do not put yourself into a situation where after you break up, you are forced to be near your ex for a period of time. So, do not do it while on a trip or a vacation. Do not do it while touring the Statue of Liberty. In other words, when picking the turf to break up on, you need a clean and private exit strategy for both of you.
3. If they start asking why you want to end it, don’t get caught up in a debate. If they can out argue you, you might be tempted to give it another try. It’s a trap! Stick to your guns, and wish them the best. After all, the sooner they find someone new, the sooner you can start double dating and, if you’re lucky and the sex was good, wife swapping.
Well, not literally. Thanks to over-fishing it’s actually kind of concerning how few fish there are in the sea. But you know what I mean. We should think up a more factual expression.
Good luck!
For more advice articles, check out the following links:
Relationships Advice for Men
Relationships Advice for Women
If you have broken up recently and are looking for love, then check the following:
Top 10 Dating Sites
Let’s face it: sometimes things go south in a relationship. I’m not sure why they call something bad “going south”. I love going south. It’s warm. Lots of bikinis.
If you have 8 intimate relationships in your lifetime, then you had to break up 7 times. The numbers just follow. It is never easy, but it can be a lot harder on everyone if you approach it badly.
Good Break Up Tips
1. Do It Privately
The best situation when breaking up with someone is to do it at his or her place. A lot of people say go somewhere public so they won’t make a scene. But sometimes the scene is inevitable, and you don’t want to be in public when that happens. Do it at their place, and then if they want to break something, it’s their stuff. They can kick you out, and you can leave peacefully. They don’t feel embarrassed if you’re out in public. It’s their safe place, so it’s best.
2. Do It Just Before A Weekend
This is a consideration for them so that they can get it back together before having to go to work. Often people will miss work the next day. If they get fired, then you have the added guilt of them losing their job as a result of you breaking up with them. You want to avoid that. In any event, it gives them a chance to call up other close friends and thoroughly trash you, drink themselves into oblivion, cry themselves out, and get over the ensuing hangover without missing a day of work.
3. Give Space and Time
The best way to effectively have a smooth break-up is limit the time you’re together with your ex immediately after the dumping. If you start seeing someone new, don’t take them to your ex’s regular haunt. Don’t rub your new partner in their face! And, if you need to talk to friends about the reason you broke up, choose friends that are not common friends. Otherwise, you’re asking for a soap opera, and I mean that in a bad way. Even though I watch soap operas. They’re hot. And they have bikinis.
Bad Break Up Don'ts
1. Pick your breakup turf carefully so as to minimize sharp objects and hard objects. Both of these types of things can be used on you in a fit of anger or despair. So, kitchens, craft rooms and work-rooms are out. For the same reasons, do not end it in a hardware store or kitchen specialty shop if you have to end it in public for some reason.
2. Do not break up in a place where you will have to be together for a long period of time afterwards. Breaking up while on vacation is bad. Breaking up if you are on an island where you have to take the ferry back is also bad. Breaking up in some rural setting is bad unless you both came in separate vehicles.
3. If they start asking why you want to end it, don’t get caught up in a debate. If they can out argue you, you might be tempted to give it another try. It’s a trap! Stick to your guns, and wish them the best. After all, the sooner they find someone new, the sooner you can start double dating and, if you’re lucky and the sex was good, wife swapping.
Well, not literally. Thanks to over-fishing it’s actually kind of concerning how few fish there are in the sea. But you know what I mean. We should think up a more factual expression.
Good luck!
For more advice articles, check out the following links:
Relationships Advice for Men
Relationships Advice for Women
If you have broken up recently and are looking for love, then check the following:
Top 10 Dating Sites
