Monday, 15 October 2012
Is Love Avoiding Me
As I did my daily routine of running through the park area behind my house one sunny fourth of July last year, I was looking at the half dead trees, and the weeds that some people refer to as flowers, and smelling the water in the creek (that I swear comes from the sewers), when a bird crapped on my head. I thought “oh well” just another ordinary day. As I walked along, I bumped into a acquaintance of mine that I will call Stinky and please don't ask why I call him that, I think it is obvious. As we walked, I told him about the bird, and he replied “take me to the tree that you were standing under, its good luck”. If I had thought for one minute that it was good luck I'd be rolling in it, (as you may have figured Stinky really doesn’t have much of a life, but then again, neither do I).
Our biggest problem is chatting with the opposite sex. Stinky can usually mouth a few comments, then he has to get lost. I’m a little more relaxed since I work with a lot of women anyway. I can usually have somewhat of a conversation with them before I start to shiver and have my knees buckle under me, then I have to politely excuse myself.
Stinky feels that women have unreal expectations when it comes to dating, however, I beg to differ. I really don't believe for a minute the women suggesting that he have a shower before picking her up is classified as “high standard”. Stinky may be the smelliest guy I know, but he is one of the nicest (nicest not brightest). However, he has been known to come up with amazing idea's that make a lot of sense, but I'm not sure about this one. “We will join a Dating Site” he yelled out. I said before sometimes he comes up with amazing idea's but this wasn't one of those times. He proceeded to inform me that a friend at work suggested the idea(nice friend). “Is this the same friend that leaves deodorant and body wash on your desk?” I asked. “It sure is! He's a very thoughtful person,” (ya right). Stinky said “My friend met a wonderful women on a dating site,” (what women?? the guy he's talking about is gay!) “Why would your homosexual friend use a dating site to meet women?” I asked, “I think your getting in over your head”. In the end, and after weeks of avoiding Stinky and his crazy idea, I finally decided to give in just to humor him.
As I tried to sleep that night, all I could think about was the last date I had, which, to me, had been a dismal failure. I’m sure the woman I'll call (“bottomless pit”), hadn’t eaten in a week prior to our date and she must have thought I was rich or something! After she had consumed several appetizers as well as several other side dishes, expensive wine and the entree of lamb chops, I checked the balance on my Visa card, then to my surprise she demanded we order desert! “Desert!?” I quickly reminded her that this was not an all you can eat buffet, she then jumped up called me things I've never heard before and stormed to the door. I ran after her and asked if she would like to see me again, at which time she beat me with her hand bag (I guess that meant no!). So I went back to the table and sat alone looking at the bill she had racked up and wondered if I would be able to get some overtime at work next week to pay for it.
I started to have second thoughts about joining a dating site, but since my best friend had his heart set on it (and knowing he would do anything for me), I decided to go through with it. It turned out to be the best move that we had ever made. Stinky and I both joined a Dating Site, and it wasn’t long before we had responses from some beautiful ladies. We were both very nervous and excited to think that we could finally stop using blow up dolls for companions. Stinky asked me “what should I do to get ready?”I said “just get in the shower, turn that water on, use that bar of soap (you only had it for whole year) and scrape your troubles away”, (as well as the dirt and body odor of course).We double dated that evening to lean on each other, and we had an amazing time. It was a standard dinner and dancing date, but it just went so well. Stinky took me aside and declared that this was the woman of his dreams. I gave him a brotherly hug, and said “follow your heart,” and he did. She seemed to take to him as well, surprisingly!
Well I don't call him Stinky anymore, (no one does now that he has learned basic hygiene). He is and always will be, my best friend. Henry is still with his special woman that he met on that dating site. This was eight years ago and after dating for two years, they took the plunge. They had one child and are expecting another any time now. As for me, it took a little longer, but I finally found my life partner, and we are expecting our first child soon. Life is fantastic and it keeps getting better!
Its true what they say, there's somebody for everyone. You just have to look in the right place. Sometimes like a mother bird teaching her young to fly, you just need a little push to get going . Life is too short and precious to spend it alone, wondering what it would be like to have someone to share it with. So if you are interested in making a positive move for the future then take my advice, and get off your derriere and make the first move.
Hey, if Stinky and I can do it, so can you! There are so many dating sites out there that you might think you'll never find the right one, but I'll give you a tip, this is the site that me and Stinky used to find the best sites for us and in our opinion its the ultimate starting point to find dating sites. So if you are tired of being all alone and want someone to share your life and love with well just follow this link, you'll be glad you did.