Showing posts with label Internet Dating Sites. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Internet Dating Sites. Show all posts

Friday, 27 April 2012

Dating Seeking Love Online



This is a totally unscientific rant based on my own observations of people both in real life and on dating sites. By direct observation, I have seen dozens of people succeed in finding a solid life partner using online dating sites, but I have also seen many more fail.  I joined several dating sites some years ago and ended up getting caught up in how it is that people interact online versus real life. I have also tapped into my own extensive circle of friends and acquaintances in this same time period and also witnessed most aspects of the offline dating world as well.

So what have I found?
Interestingly enough, not much that has not already been discussed before.

Offline dating has been going on for thousands of years, and I doubt if anyone today could actually find much to add to the existing literature. I will therefore not try to pontificate in any manner on that aspect of dating, other than to note that most people tend to date within an extended community of friends for the most part. 

Internet dating, which is a higher tech offshoot of the matchmaking services that have been around for hundreds of years, is a relatively new beast, and as such, there are some insights that can be passed on that most people have yet to learn.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Fool Proof Matching Formulas
False – The second is that people do not really know for sure what it is that they are looking for in a mate.  They may think that they do, but if you look around and talk to people you will often find people in very successful relationships that have trouble understanding why it was that they first clicked! What it comes down to is head and heart – no matter what your head says, your heart will overrule successfully every time. Your head rules by logic, your heart rules by chemistry. I defy you to define the chemistry of your perfect match!!

I Do Not Have To Work As Hard On A Dating Site To Find Someone I Like
False – To make a long story short, it takes a lot of time getting to know anyone that you hope to be your life partner. You just cannot take any shortcuts here. In fact, for this aspect of using a dating site it takes more effort because of the anonymous nature of the environment. Everyone is using made up handles, so it is not as if you can check with a mutual friend to see what they are really like.

Internet Dating Sites are a Great Place To Find People to Date
True – If you are a person who uses dating to interact with someone that you are interested in; then a dating site is likely to connect you with many more people than you can possibly find via your own means offline.

Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Maybe false is too harsh – it is a definite perhaps, and it depends on your attitude. If you are willing to look outside of your normal comfort zone, you have a better chance finding someone on an internet dating site that you would through your own personal network of friends.


So What Good Are Dating Sites Anyway ? Well, they are really good for people who are open to discovering more about what they are really interested in. They are good for people who have not been successful finding their soul mate in real life because quite frankly they are looking for the wrong type of person in the wrong places.  If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.

You should approach using a dating site as you would approach using any new tool that can improve your productivity. It is possible for someone to use a tool incorrectly and end up being hurt. It is possible to be sloppy how you use a tool and end up getting inferior results (don't blame the tool). If you take the time to learn the advantages and disadvantages of the tool, and employ that tool correctly, then you have the optimal chance of finding your perfect match.

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php



Friday, 6 April 2012

Can You Really Find Real Love Online



This article is focused on the use of online dating sites to find love and happiness. As an observer of the online dating industry for the last several years, I have spent a lot of time trying to gage how it is that some individuals succeed while others fail.  As a member of several dating sites over the years, I have seen first hand how it is that people interact both successfully and unsuccessfully. I have also discussed dating and relationships extensively with people I have met who are/were in all types and phases of relationships.

So what have I found?
Perhaps not too much that has not already been discussed by others in the past, but perhaps with a different twist on it.

When it comes to people meeting in real life, well, that has been going on for a millennium, I have absolutely nothing to add on this topic that has not already been hashed out by writers since the time that man first developed writing. 

When it comes to the Internet, which has only been into the relationships and matchmaking game for the last 17 years or so, perhaps I can give people some insights as to what to expect with online dating sites and how to maximize their chances of success.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Wonderful Matching Algorithms That Guarantee Me a Perfect Match
False – No matter how hard dating sites work at perfecting their compatibility formulas, they are handicapped by customers who lie about themselves, and customers who really have no idea what it is they are looking for. When it comes to relationships, people are much better at saying what they do not want than what they do want.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – Once you find someone you are interested in, no matter what the relationship you desire, to get on top of it, you have to spend a lot of time getting to know the person. And at some point you will become comfortable that they are not blowing smoke up your tush. If not, all bets are off and you are back to square one looking for someone else who interests you.

Internet Dating Sites Are More Likely To Find Someone For Me To Date
True – If you are a person who uses dating to interact with someone that you are interested in; then a dating site is likely to connect you with many more people than you can possibly find via your own means offline.

Internet Dating Sites Are More Likely To Find My Soul Mate.
False – Maybe false is too harsh – it is a definite perhaps, and it depends on your attitude. If you are willing to look outside of your normal comfort zone, you have a better chance finding someone on an internet dating site that you would through your own personal network of friends.


So Why Would I Use An Internet Dating Site Then?They are dynamite if you are willing to be open and look outside of your normal comfort zone for possible matches. If you are not successful finding someone the normal way, it is often because you are just looking in the wrong places. Dating sites are amazing in the one single fact that everyone on them is looking to date. You do not have to prequalify each introduction with a lot of tap dancing trying to figure out if the person you are talking to is looking for someone.  The secret with online dating is to open yourself up to other possibilities that you might not have looked at before. Be willing to be disappointed with each person that you connect with, but also be willing to be entranced. You might be shocked at the person who ends up winning your heart.

If you approach education with an open mind, you will get 10 times as much out of it than you would if you try to educate yourself within your existing limits of knowledge and biases when you first start the process. Similarly, with dating sites, if you approach them with an open mind, and are willing to interact with people that you would not normally associate with in your normal day-to-day life, you may just find that the love of your life is not what your brain thought it was looking for.

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

If this article has peaked your interest then you should visit the link below:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php