Friday, 1 June 2012

First Date Do's and Don'ts



Your first date is your first real opportunity to market yourself to a prospective partner. Because of that, it is a significant key moment in your life. A lot is riding on the line here. You are walking a tightrope between keeping the discussion animated and boring her with your exploits. The line between complimenting them or just being creepy. Or the line between being dazzling or being a dud. You need to let your inner self come out. Be relaxed, but also be careful. Never lose site that you are being judged. So with no further ado, here are some hard learned lessons that you might find helpful.

1. Crank One Out

This concept was first introduced to the mass public in the movie "There's Something About Mary" – starring Ben Stiller , Cameron Diaz and Matt Dillon Just before, or during your pre-date shower, give yourself a hand job. With a flaccid member, you are more likely to be your usual intelligent self, rather than constantly trying to shift the conversation over to discussions of getting her in bed. Going in fully cocked, you will focus too much on her physical attributes and that is a turn off for 90% of women. You’ll try to listen to her, but all you’ll be able to think about is where you’d like to stick your tongue. The biggest advantage of an empty barrel is that if the evening goes particularly well and you do end up in bed, you will last longer and be better able to satisfy her. And you will likely be able to control yourself to let her orgasm  multiple times. Do that and she will be your sex slave forever.


2. Get Her Name Right

If you have never made the mistake of getting a girl's name wrong on the first place, let me tell you, it is not pretty. It is pretty much all downhill from that moment. To minimize this faux-pas you should consider writing her name and pertinent information in the notes area of your cellphone. In a pinch, text message it all to yourself so you will have it ready to see.


3. Take Small Bites When Eating

If you are having an animated conversation, there is a distinct advantage to taking small bites. It means that you can get to the point of swallowing your food in seconds before you reply. Big bites do not allow for this. I was on a first date with a really nice girl once. The discussion was going well and I answered without thinking. I still had a wack of food in my mouth. We both watched as a piece of my dinner flew out of my mouth and landed on her plate. Embarrassing! Needless to say it was our last date!


4. Keep The Porn Under Wraps If You Plan To Bring Her Over

She will likely not be impressed on the first date finding out that you like to watch felatio porn movies. At least not yet. Make a habit of tidying up your apartment before every date, just in case. And that means hiding the porn as well. Do not forget to empty your DVD player. Firing it up to watch Must Love Dogs only to have your DVD player auto-load– Debbie Does Dead Dogs – would really suck.


5. Getting Sloppy Drunk Is A Show Stopper

Alcohol in moderation can be a great vehicle on a first date to help get over initial nervousness. However, it can also make you look like a total jackass. One bottle of wine, equally shared between the both of your should be your limit. (That is two 6 ounce glasses each by the way. The equivalent of two bottles of beer – not pints of beer.) Drink water between your alcoholic drinks. Making mistakes and drinking too much is a common mistake. One I have made myself. But the results speak for themselves. Only one time did my drinking excessively not get in the way of subsequent dates, and that was when my date turned out to be a complete lush. It was fun at first, but I broke it off after a few months.


6. No Ex Talk

Talking about an ex in specifics is a mistake. She really does not care about your failed relationships. She wants to know if there is any possibility of building a relationships with you. If she presses, speak in non-specifics and try to change the topic. Read a few magazines in the afternoon before your date so you have interesting things to talk about. You have to keep her happy and communicating with you. Without that, you will not get a second chance.


Hopefully my dating foibles will help you avoid some of your own.


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How Do I keep a woman happy?